Hello again. I realize my sporadic posts are...sporadic. I've been in somewhat of a funky depression lately. Except it's not full blown depression with doctors and medication, not that there's anything wrong with that. It's more...blah. And I can't seem to get out of it which is beyond redonkulous because seriously, my life is pretty darn good right now. I have a great husband and a funny daughter and I'm done with school so no more papers or studying until 3am. My mom and I are finally getting along and I'm doing all kinds of fun stuff with my kid.
And yet this is somewhat part of the problem? I think? I'm so glad to be done with school that I have no desire to do anything around the house. Dishes, laundry, picking up, sweeping...nope. Not going to happen. Except I hate a dirty house like wHoa. It doesn't help that the girl got spoiled by he who shall not be named (ahem, her father) while I was in night class. He would let her fall asleep in our bed at night instead of putting her in her own bed. So now I'm trying to break that. Thankfully, she will sleep in her bed if we go put her in there so it could be worse but I have to lay down with her first and basically, once my body touches that sweet mattress, my brain is all BEDTIME FOR EVERYONE and there's just no combating that. So the house goes untouched. As does my thank you notes. And my job applications because I REALLY can't do those at work. I mean, I can get away with a lot of crap here (like blogging sporadically) but my momma did not raise a fool. Don't apply for new jobs at your current job, kids. It's a bad idea.
Which leads into the next level of blah which is my lack of a job in my field. There are a few things out there that I need to apply for ASAP. I need to make the time to do a resume/letter for each of them; force myself to get up after the kid has gone to sleep (before is not an option as she is all over the place and says "what are you DOING, mommy?!" at least 6,000 times a day. Plus I'm usually trying to get some kind of semi nutritious meal on the table during that time. Or playing with her outside.) And you know, my current job is a good job and definitely pays the bills, but I'm SO maxed out there. It'll be five years this fall and I'm just done. Not only mentally but I have no more opportunity for growth. It's time to hit the road for sure.
I got some moolah for graduation and SWORE I would not spend it on toys or clothes for tiny people but instead on career clothes. Since the dress code at my current job is uber laid back, my closet has suffered tremendously. So I headed out to the sales Monday and while I did find a very nice suit for a decent price, I'm fat and I hate the fatness. When I got pregnant, I was already fat. And then I gained 40 lbs. And then I lost 65 because breastfeeding is awesome. And then I stopped breastfeeding and gained 25 lbs in 2 weeks (I'm so not exaggerating) and was basically right back where I started. I'm too scared to even get near a scale at this point. Let's just say my pants are SNUG.
So now I have a dirty house, no decent job, and I'm fat.
DO YOU SEE HOW THIS SPIRALS OUT OF CONTROL?! I need a cookie.
And I realize this made zero sense; I'll attempt a follow up tomorrow.
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