Weeks 7 & 8

I slacked a bit. This is not shocking at all. Let's get back on track, mmkay?

1. Graduate - This is going well.  I've started prepping for my exam and am still trucking along in my courses. One minor presentation down, one to go (Tuesday) then I can concentrate on my big exam and then my two major, final presentations. And then, my friends? I will be done (God willing I pass that exam).

2. Church - 4-4.  Aack!  Must get right with Jesus.  I swore I wouldn't let the second number go above the first number.

3. New job - I have been very, very lazy here and that is not good.  New jobs do not find you, you must find them.  Or rather I must find them.  I've been meaning to sit down and redo my cover letter for each one and I just haven't made time.  Not good, MrsShoe.  Just another day longer you are someone's underpaid bitch.

4. Feel better - Meh.  No exercising lately and no detoxing either.  I ate boiled crawfish and while it probably wasn't good for me, it was definitely good.

5. Me time - A few "me" projects lately.  I made a king cake!  Finally.  And it was dry but that's ok.  I'm going to work on it.  And I did some cuppycakes for a friend's b'day.

Trust No One

I saw this on Pinterest a few weeks ago and laughed.  Because if you have EVER worked in any type of group project, you know this is true.

So.  When my final semester of grad school (this is relevant) started a few weeks ago and we were told that we had to do two group projects, I cringed.  Thankfully, the final project we can do with people that we choose so that's fine.  But Mr. Ed (aka my professor who talks like a fucking horse) was choosing the group members for the smaller project.  Ok, still fine.  No big deal.

So the groups are chosen on a night I wasn't there (of course) but I got an email that was polite and straightforward.  AWESOME.  I am all about setting expectations.  We agreed to meet a week later after having a week to choose and research our topics.  I'm just going to go ahead and tell you that our projects main topic is Instructional Technologies because that is VERY relevant in addition to the fact that we are in GRADUATE SCHOOL.  In case you don't know what Instructional Technologies are, it's just the different ways to learn due to the advances of technology.  Online classes, smartboards, ipads, etc.  Mmkay.

So meeting number one happens and things are going pretty well.  Three of us are obviously type A and the fourth girl is a little Type B but she's taking notes and shit so I didn't think much of it.  I had my laptop out (a Mac) and in a lull of conversation, TypeB tells me that she's going to buy a computer the next day.  Cool.  The next 30 seconds went something like this:

TypeB: What kind of computer is that?
Me: (is she serious?) It's an Apple.
TypeB: ::scribbles furiously:: Where did you get it from?
Me: (this cannot be real) The Apple store.
TypeB: ::still scribbling furiously:: How much was it?

So yeah.  That happened.  Ok, maybe she just lives under a rock.  She does openly admit that she's not very technical (please refer back to the project topic. ok then.).  So I'm trying to help her out because I'm a really nice person.  We had to make accounts on a website so I ask for her student username which is a combination of your first initial, last name, and a set of numbers.  She starts flipping through her wallet (ohmygod, you should know this) and hands me...her student ID card.  Ok.  I don't even know what to say since her username is most definitely NOT on that card.  And I am most definitely NOT a psychic.  At that point I asked if this was her first semester in our grad program and at LSU (because we're only 2 weeks in so that would make sense, right?).  Nope.  Second semester in the program.  Jesus help this girl.

So let's fast forward a bit.  Over the next week, we send out a few emails but TypeB is apparently allergic to the Reply button since she never replies to any of them.  We are down to the final week and one of the other Type A's sends out an email outlining how things are going to go.  Person1 is making the presentation, Person2 is doing the introduction, Person3 (that's me!) is doing the conclusion, and Person4 (aka TypeB) is supposed to make a backup presentation.  These are in addition to each person talking about their own topics.  So we basically gave her a part that wasn't even needed but whatever.  I find out 3 days later that Person1 actually did both the main and the backup presentation and is (rightfully) annoyed about it.  She sends out a very, very passive aggressive email about the whole project.  I talk to her about why she's upset and she tells me about how she couldn't get in touch with TypeB so she just did her part for her (which is bullshit; on both parts).

So I send out another email.  I AGAIN outline our jobs and tell TypeB that since Person1 put everything together and Person2 was doing the introduction and Person3 (me!) is doing the conclusion, that she needs to be responsible for THE ONE SLIDE that has the definition of our topic on it.  That's it.  She just needs to read the fucking definition during the presentation.

The next day I get another voicemail telling me that she's just going to talk about her topic during the presentation. OH HELL NO, BITCH, SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL. That was basically my reaction.

It ended up fine. I called her back, left a firm message about each of us pulling our own weight and never heard from her again. The presentation went great, TypeB did her shit correctly (for the most part), and I got a 98.  Snap, snap, what!

But still. Trust no one.

Chris Brown is a douchebag

I just read the very graphic description of the whole Chris Brown/Rhianna beating incident.  You can google it if you'd like to read it but be warned, it's very graphic.  A few paragraphs in, after the first punch was thrown and connected with her face, Rhianna tried to call her assistant for help.  The assistant didn't answer so she then tried to text her other assistant.  At that point, Chris Brown threw her phone out the window (they were in a moving car while this all went down).

I know my first reaction to reading that was, you're assistant?! Really?! What's she going to do?! CALL 911!! I am guessing that Rhianna is not a stupid girl so I thought for a minute about why on earth she would not call the police for help as her boyfriend is literally, beating the fuck out of her. And then I remembered hearing Demi Moore's 911 tape being played on the radio the other morning for all the world to point and stare at her mental breakdown. And it breaks my heart that this girl was getting punched in the face by a man at least twice her size and she had to worry about calling for help for fear of the what would happen when that 911 tape was ultimately released to the public!

People, it's a sad state of affairs to live in a time when someone has to fear calling the police for help. Her celebrity status is irrelevant; she is still entitled to the same rights of protection that the rest of us are. I really think we've reached a point where it's time to outlaw the release of 911 tapes to the public. So if someone of authority is reading this (because obviously the people in Washington care about my recipes and my adorable child), how about you get on that?

Shrimp Orzo

I threw this together the other night and it was pretty darn delicious.

Ingredients:

1 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 lb orzo pasta
salt
black pepper
garlic powder
olive oil
1/2 c grape tomatoes, halved (about a large handful)
4 tbsp butter
4 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 c white wine
red pepper flakes

After shrimp are peeled and deveined season them with salt, black pepper, and garlic powder.  Set aside.

In a large stockpot, bring a gallon of water to a boil.  Season the water with salt and olive oil.  Boil the orzo for 10 minutes or until tender.  Drain and set aside.

In a small skillet, heat just a bit of olive oil (1 tbsp) on med-high heat till it sizzles and throw in your tomatoes.  Toss around the tomatoes as they cook.  You just want to wilt them a bit.  When they start looking like they are falling apart, take them off the heat.  This should only take about 5 minutes.  Put the tomatoes in a bowl and set aside.

Wipe out the skillet with a paper napkin and put it back on the heat (lower to med).  Put your butter in the pan.  Once it's melted (this shouldn't take long as the pan should be really hot) add the garlic and let it cook and start to sizzle.  Add a bit of olive oil (maybe 2 tsp) and when it's all melded together nicely, throw in the wine to deglaze the pan.  Let that cook for another minute or so and then add your shrimp.  Cook until the shrimp are nice and pink and covered in the yummy sauce.

(I should note that when I make this again, I'm going to cut my shrimp in half.  I think you get a better distribution of shrimp to orzo ratio that way.)

Once the shrimp are cooked, it's time to assemble.

Put the orzo in a large serving bowl.  Pour the shrimp and all the sauce over the orzo.  Fold together and taste for seasoning.  I added more salt here and the red pepper flakes.  Gently fold in the tomatoes.  Serve!

There are several ways to vary this.  If you're into presentation (I'm not. I'm into eating.) you could leave the shrimp whole (or with the tails on) and serve them on top of each plate of orzo.  I also wanted to char up some sliced asparagus with the tomatoes but I forgot them at the store.  That would have been really nice flavors.  It's kind of got a scampi flavor but the tomatoes are nice and smoky.  You could also sub the shrimp for chicken or even crawfish.  It was really, really delicious.  My girl ate it up and my husband had two bowls.  A success in my book!

Good weekend = Bad Monday

Why is that?  It never fails that having a great weekend makes for a particularly shitty Monday.

This was a great weekend.  The husband was working so I got to spend a lot of one on one time with the girl.  Normally this could go either way but fortunately for all parties involved, it went great.

Friday night we rented a movie and watched it after the girl went to bed.  This is becoming a weekend ritual.  I like it.  Sat we woke up early to head over to the vet school open house which was very cool.  Makes me a wee bit ashamed that I haven't been before now.  Anyway, there were horses and cows and puppies, oh my!  The girl had a great time although she did tell me several times that the horsies were "'cary, mommy" (scary).  I guess they look a lot bigger to her up close.  After that rambunctious morning, we went home for naps only homegirl would.not.nap. in my bed with me so she finally got banished to her crib where she slept for three hours!  I may or may not have channeled her in my own comfy bad (sans snoring husband. naptime FTW).

Our late nap resulted in leftovers for dinner but it was gumbo so it worked out because it was frickin' cold outside (no complaints. I heart the cold).  Sunday was another early morning in which the mister and I ate cinnamon rolls together on the couch and then he blew my mind by saying, "What's The Bodyguard? Is it a movie or something?"  And then I reevaluated just how compatible we really are because OH MY GOD.  I also watched multiple hours of Whitney coverage on MSNBC aka the ONE cable channel we still catch since the great cutoff of 2011.  So since he didn't know what The Bodyguard was, I took it upon myself to play for him several songs from the soundtrack.  I seriously had to resist the urge to go grab a hairbrush and dance in front of my mirror.

Once the girl woke up, we had a quick breakfast then ran to Sam's with the bestie (I have a serious love affair with Sam's) then back home for lunch.  There should have been a nap somewhere in there but it didn't happen since we had a playdate at 2.  The girls made these cute canvas paint things.  Basically you put tape on the canvas in the shape of something (we did trees) and then let your kid paint away.  When you take the tape off, there should be a tree.  Ours looked dumb because I'm the most uncreative mom ever but the other kids looked awesome.  I blame myself for bad tape placement.  We have an extra canvas so maybe we'll try another one next weekend with Daddy.

THEN (I know, this is getting ridiculously long) I made dinner and while I really like to cook, my husband is a much better cook so I don't do it anymore.  But he had to work late so I made this delicious shrimp orzo dish that was seriously out of this world.  I'll have to post the recipe.  After dinner, I worked on schoolwork until 8:30 when my child woke up screaming "MOOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!  BOOOOOOK!!!!  ONE MOOOOOORRRRRE!!!" and I mean, how do you say no to that?  You don't.  You go in and read four more.  And she reads them all wrapped up in a blanket with her head on your chest like she did when she was an infant and you are suddenly wishing that moment would never end.  Except it does but this time she lays down with her Pooh, snuggles with her blanket, and falls right asleep.

The rest of the night was compiled of the Grammy's (yay for Adele! Swift looked homeless. mickey is on crack. Nikki Minaj is in competition with Lady Gaga for freak of the year. that's my recap.), dealing with passive aggressive group members (she got called out by yours truly), and being woken up by the dog 1500 times.  So all in all, this weekend gets a big fat A+ from me.

Except this morning, the girl was being ridiculously cute.  And when she got in the car, she told me she was cold so I put my coat over her and when we got to daycare she told me "no school" and tried to rebuckle her carseat (she hates her carseat). Twist the knife, kid. She didn't cry though and was fine once we were inside.  Still breaks my heart a little though and I'm counting down until it's time for pick up.

So that's my weekend in a way too long blog post.  But it's ok b/c I'm pretty sure no one actually reads this.  Happy Monday!

Week 6

1. Graduate -We had a meeting about the exam but otherwise, just trucking along with school work as usual. That's all I really can do right now.

 

2. Church - 4-2. Le sigh, I missed this week.

 

3. New job -I made a list of positions in my area on Friday. Now I just need to find time to edit my cover letter for all (5!) of them

 

4. Feel better - So I did a week of the detox and even though I fell off the wagon a couple times, for the most part, I did pretty well! AND my pants aren't nearly as snug this morning.  Hmm.  Are the two related?  I definitely feel better.  Perhaps I will try again this week.

 

5. Me time - Not a whole lot this week.  Whipping up dinner on Sunday night was great but that's about it.

Netflix is killing me

This is an actual conversation that takes place every single time we leave the house:

Me: Ok, let's go get in the van! (yes, I do. and I love it.)
Girl: Bye puppy! Love you! ::kisses puppy::
Me: Bye puppy! Ok, come on.
G: Bye Georgia! Love you! ::puts hand in crate for a lick::
Me: Bye Georgia! Ok, seriously, let's go. ::sets alarm::
G: Bye Elmo! Bye Barney! Bye Why!
Me: For the love of...Ok! Bye everybody! Come on, get in the van. note to self: limit tv time.
G: ::starts blowing kisses::

Every single day. Is there any question why I can't get anywhere on time?!

Crib...issues

This is an actual conversation that happened in my house tonight.

Me: I think it might be time to take the front rail off of the girl's crib and make it a toddler bed.

Husband (offended): Do you know how long it took me to put that thing together?!

Me: ::stares blankly:: So do you think we should keep her in there forever?

H: ::glares::

It's coming down this weekend. Maybe.

Raspberry Cheesecake Cupcakes

A friend sent me this recipe when I was trying to think of something to make for one of our daycare teachers.  I have made a cheesecake bar recipe for years that is awesome and is always requested for parties.  But they are a bit time consuming so I don't make them often.  Regardless, I went ahead and used my recipe with this technique.  Result?  Perfection.

Recipe from Cook's Illustrated
Inspired by Annie's Eats

Ingredients:

Crust:
6 tbsp butter, melted & cooled
7 whole graham crackers, broken into 1 inch pieces
3 tbsp light brown sugar
2 tbsp AP flour
1/8 tsp salt

Filling:
2 blocks cream cheese (8oz), softened
2/3 c sugar
2 eggs
1/4 c sour cream
2 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp vanilla extract

Swirl:
6 oz raspberries (or your fruit of choice)
2 tbsp sugar

Preheat oven to 325.

In a mini food processor, pulse the graham crackers to a fine crumb consistency. Add the remainder of the crust ingredients and pulse until well mixed.  Bake for 12-15 minutes or until fragrant.  Set aside.


While the crust is baking, make the filling & puree...

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the cream cheese with the paddle attachment until creamy.  Add sugar and mix for another minute.  Add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each egg.  Beat in sour cream, lemon juice, and vanilla until incorporated.  Set aside.

To make the raspberry puree, combine the berries and sugar in a blender.  Process until smooth, then press through a sieve to remove the seeds.  We then poured the puree into one of my flood/squirt bottles but a spoon would be fine for the marbling.


To assemble...

Put 2 tbsp of cheesecake filling into each cup. 

Drop (or squirt) 3 drops of puree into each cup.  Swirl with a toothpick or bamboo skewer for a marbled effect.  If you do 3 dots and just one circle through all three, it makes a cool looking heart pattern.  Very Valentine's Day appropriate.

Bake for 22 minutes, turning halfway through baking time.  Let cool then remove from pan (or they will stick and you will tear the papers getting them out) and chill in the fridge for 3-4 hours (or overnight).

These are just ridiculously delicious.  You could do almost any fruit with these: strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, peaches...I'm already making a blueberry/strawberry concoction in my head for the fourth of July.  Make these today!

Homemade Honey Mustard Sauce

I made this sauce to accompany the homemade pretzels that I made for the Super Bowl and hol-ee shitballs, this stuff is good. Pretty sure you could smear it on your shoe and it'd be tasty.

I know some people like to do nacho cheese with their pretzels but that's slightly disgusting to me so when I was searching for a dipping sauce for the pretzels and saw this, it immediately clicked and I am SO GLAD I went this route. Another plus for this recipe is that there are no fancy ingredients; I had everything I needed in my pantry. Recipes that taste fantastic without making me buy something out of the ordinary are always top notch in my book. (Side note: this is actually why I love the entire Pennies on a Platter blog; she has great recipes using ingredients that are in every cooks pantry. I love that she doesn't go all Emeril on her readers.)

I loved the pretzels alone but with this sauce, they were to die for. This would also be EXCELLENT with chicken nuggets. I'm drooling just thinking about it.

From Pennies on a Platter

Ingredients:
1 c mayonnaise
2 tbsp yellow mustard
3 tbsp honey
1 tbsp lemon juice

Whisk all ingredients in a bowl. Serve.

That's it, people. The original recipe does say to chill it for 2-3 hours before serving but I didn't make this until 20 minutes before we left so that wasn't an option. I did add just a tad bit more honey than it called for so maybe that makes a difference. Regardless, make this today and put it on everything. You can thank me later.

Homemade Pretzels

This has been on my foodie bucket list for a looooong time. Soft pretzels just always seemed very intimidating and the ingredient list had a couple things I wasn't familiar with. But I was determined to make a smaller, bite-size version for Super Bowl Sunday and like the blog gods were smiling down on me, the very next day a recipe for pretzel bites popped up in my reader. That is not the recipe I used though. That recipe caused me to do a search which led me to this recipe which is the one I used. I had everything I needed in my pantry which is just the way I like it.

From Pennies on a Platter

Ingredients:
4 tbsp butter, melted
1 tbsp sugar
2 tsp kosher salt + more for topping
1 1/2 c warm water (115-120)
1 pkg instant yeast (2 1/4 tsp)
22 oz AP flour (approx 4 1/2 cups)
2/3 c baking soda
1 egg yolk + one tablespoon water


Combine butter, sugar, salt, and water to the bowl of a stand mixer. Add yeast then flour. Mix with dough hook on low until the dough comes together. Then mix on medium for 4-5 minutes or until the dough is smooth and pulls away from the sides. Take the dough out. Lightly grease the mixing bowl with nonstick spray, put the dough back in, cover with saran wrap, and place in a warm spot for about 45 minutes to an hour or until it doubles.

Once your dough has doubled...

Preheat oven to 450.  Get two to three cookie sheets and use nonstick mats (if you have them) or parchment paper.  Put a large stockpot of water on the stove.

Turn the dough out onto a clean surface and cut into 30-32 pieces (I use my bench scraper for this). Form into mini pretzels and place on the cookie sheets. Nikki has provided a handy picture on her blog of how to form the pretzels.

Bring water to a boil and SLOWLY add baking soda to boiling water. I really wish she would have mentioned that if you dump 2/3 cup of baking soda into a pot of boiling water, a mini volcano happens in your kitchen.

Working 2 at a time, boil pretzels for 30 seconds then place on the nonstick cookie sheet. Brush with the egg yolk wash and sprinkle with kosher salt.

Bake on 450 for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.  Try not to forget your second batch in the oven like I did.

Serve with homemade honey mustard. Recipe to come.

These were really, really delicious.  Within about 20 minutes of us arriving, 3/4 of these were gone.  Making the pretzels is by far the most time consuming part. Otherwise, these came together pretty easily.  If you're an experienced yeast baker, this will be easy peasy for you. Enjoy!

Week 5

1. Graduate - Master's exam is scheduled. No one bother talking to me the last week of March. I'll be getting wasted in a bar at approximately one pm on April 2. Yes, that is a Monday.

2. Church - 4-1. The girl is almost getting better behaved too.

3. New job - Not a lot this week. I found another position to apply for. It's on my to do list for this week.

4. Feel better - I had to start a semi detox/diet. I only plan to do it for a week but I ate Raising Cane's last week and OMG, I felt terrible for 2 days. So I totally watched what went into my mouth for 3 days and felt better. Then I went to a Super Bowl party and felt terrible again last night because there were ridiculous amounts of good food there and I stuffed myself. Bad Shoe.

5. Me time - Still no pleasure reading which I am SAD about. But I did get to try some new recipes this week so that made me happy. I did some dulce de leche cookies (the filling was amazing but the cookies were too biscuit-like; they'd be better with shortbread), raspberry swirl cheesecake cupcakes (delish), and homemade pretzels (which has been on my foodie bucket list for well over a year) with honey mustard dipping sauce. Both of those were a huge hit at the SB party. Huge.

Blueberry Muffins

A couple months ago I started making muffins and then bringing them to my office and keeping them in the freezer so I had breakfast every morning. It was great. I did pumpkin for a few months which was fantastic in the fall months. Then I tried a new recipe for peanut butter and jelly muffins. They were ok. Not bad, not great. Not blogworthy. I love blueberry muffins but the recipe that I use is also just ok. I like it but I always feel like I need to add butter to it. Over the years I've tried many, many different blueberry muffin recipes and I think I might have finally found a winner. This one is pretty darn fantastic. I won't say it's the best (yet) but I do recommend trying it. Very fluffy and delish.

Blueberry Muffins

from Allrecipes

Ingredients:

1 stick butter, softened

1 1/4 c sugar (plus more for sprinkling)

2 eggs

2 c AP flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 c milk

2 1/2 c blueberries

Preheat oven to 375.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, until incorporated. 

In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking powder, and salt. Alternate adding flour mixture and milk, beating on low with each addition. Fold in blueberries.

(The reviews for the recipe said that while the muffins were good, they stuck to the pan so I used muffin cups and then sprayed nonstick spray all across the top of those. None of my muffins stuck so I did something right.)

Fill each cup and bake for 30 minutes. Enjoy!

Therapy Fund

Someone needs to start one for my child because I TRAUMATIZED her tonight.

Seriously. Take away my parenting rights now.

It started off innocent enough. I had class till 7:30 so after we ate and home girl had her bath, we went to read some books and go to bed. Like I said. Innocent. I arranged all the stuffed animals in the crib like she likes them, fixed the blanket, found Kitty Cat, grabbed some books...we were ready to go.

I sit in the chair with my sweet, innocent girl (who has no idea that I'm about to ruin her life) standing 2 feet in front of me, holding her blanket and Kitty Cat (it was so sweet). And I glanced down to see her favorite baby doll, lying on the ground, naked, and...beheaded.

I was traumatized by this! How did this happen?! It's a fucking Bitty Baby and those things are NOT CHEAP! So I did the most logical thing at the time. I picked up both pieces of the doll in disbelief. And my precious innocent daughter took one look at her favorite baby doll TORN IN TWO and promptly burst into tears. Only it wasn't normal tears. It was like, OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY kind of tears. It was traumatizing tears. Oh God. I wish I could forget it. But I can't so I decided to document it.

what she looked like. kind of.

So I start yelling for the mister like the crazy bitch that I am. He races in the room because he thinks there is an emergency (I really think that my child's doll being beheaded is an emergency, no?), yells at ME because I scared him (wtf, yo?). I'm screaming, "get her out! get her out! Bitty Baby has no head!" as I try and hide Bitty Baby behind me. All while my child is wailing uncontrollably.

It was a complete clusterfuck.

I am happy to report that I was able to repair Bitty Baby, MrShoe brought our traumatized child back in the room where I showed her how happy Bitty Baby was to be whole again (I swear to God, she side-eyed me). We even tucked Bitty Baby into her own crib (and covered her creepy little face) and then read books like nothing had happened.

MrShoe SWEARS on his favorite knife (which is like a bible in this house) that there was no horse playing that could have caused Bitty Baby's decapitation "incident" which leaves me to suspect the dogs but lets face it...if our dogs had gotten ahold of Bitty Baby, there may not have been a body left to attach the head to. So I have no idea how the hell this happened.

I do know that I could not make this shit up if I tried. And that my baby needs a therapy fund.