Apple Pie

Oh yes, internets, you read that correct. I made apple pie FROM SCRATCH. It wasn't even that hard. This is the recipe my momma has used forever and a day and now I know why. It's easy peasy and delicious. Check it out.

Apple Pie
from: Better Homes & Gardens cookbook

Ingredients:

Crust:
2 c AP flour

1/2 tsp salt

2/3 c shortening, chilled
6-7 tbsp ice cold water
1 egg, beaten

Filling:
6 c apples, peeled & sliced thin
1 tbsp lemon juice
3/4 c sugar
2 tbsp AP flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg

For the crust:

Stir together the flour and salt. Cut the cold shortening into the flour mixture with a pastry blender until you have pea size crumbles. Add 1 tablespoon of a time of the cold water and mix with a fork until you have a doughy mixture. Make a ball and cut in half.

Roll out the first half of the ball to a 12" circle; use a lot of flour so it doesn't stick! Using your rolling pin, roll the dough onto the pin (carefully and hopefully you used a lot of flour like I told you to) and then onto a 9" pie plate (preferably glass). Brush the crust with beaten egg (to prevent sogginess). Cut off excess leaving approximately half an inch to create an edge.

Roll out the other ball, also to a 12" circle and still using lots of flour so it doesn't stick. Leave on surface while preparing filling.

For the filling:

Peel and slice apples thinly.  Toss with lemon juice.

In a separate bowl, mix sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Pour sugar mixture over apple slices and toss to lightly coat. Pour apple mixture into pie plate.

Again, using your rolling pin, roll the top layer of dough onto the pin and then transfer on top of the filling. Trim edges about an inch from the pie plate and use your fingers to pinch the crust edges. Make slits in the top of the pie.

Place foil around the edges of the pie to prevent overbrowning. Bake in a 375 oven for 25 minutes. Remove foil. Bake for another 25-30 minutes. You want the crust to be a golden color.

Serve warm; with ice cream.

Week 4 Update

Week 4:

1. Graduate - Paperwork is filed with the grad school and my exam has been scheduled. Holy. Shit. So I just need to pass my two classes and write 100 pages of knowledge on my comprehensive exam. Easy peasy. Right? RIGHT?!

2. Church - 3-1. Back on track.

3. New job - Applied for a GREAT position! Fingers crossed I get called in for an interview! And I went to a luncheon for my professional organization (read: networking) which was awesome. We had a great speaker and I learned a lot.

4. Feel better - I still haven't done day 3 of c25k. And I ate king cake this week. Someone yell at me!

5. Me time - Few and far between. I did make some PRESH baby carriage cookies for a sweet baby shower this weekend. I have 3 books on my nightstand and several on my Nook but alas...no time for pleasure reading.

Five am is not an acceptable time for anything. Especially juice.

No, really. It's not. Ever. This is how my morning went.

5am: Georgia is whining to be let out. I LOVINGLY decided to let my husband sleep and get up with her. As I get to the back door, I hear "juuuuiiiiiccccceeee" coming from the kid's room. Shit. Maybe she'll fall back asleep. Outside with the dog where I say "outside" and "potty" way more than I should have to (just pee already). And back in. This feels like it takes forever but it's really only a minute or so.

5:02 am: Girl is still yelping for juice. Husband is still sleeping. How he does this, I have no idea. Even if he's just ignoring her because he knows I'm up (stellar parenting, I tell you), doesn't it annoy him? Go in nursery. "Juice?" Yes, dear. Juice. Grab the girl, change diaper, head back to kitchen.

At this point, I am up and my bladder has talked to my brain and whoa. It is full. But I'm in the kitchen with a kid going "juice, juice, juice" so my bladder will have to wait.

5:10 am: The juice is unopened so I am trying VERY hard to open the bottle but it is stuck and I twisted so hard that a little bit of pee came out and my bladder went "RELIEF" and I had to grab the girl and literally race to the back of the house with her screaming "JUUUUIIIIIICCCCCEEEEE!!!" at me and I start yelling at my husband. It went something like this:

"We're up and you need to be up because the dog had to pee and the kid wants juice and the damn cap is STUCK and I really have to pee so please go open the damn juice!"

And he was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?!

But I was peeing and my kid was bawling her eyes out at this point, standing on the bathroom floor, distraught over her lack of juice, so I didn't care what he was saying.

5:13 am: She has juice, my bladder is empty and for the first time I realize that my kid looks feverish and Jesus, where is that snot coming from.

5:20 am: "Elmo?" Sure, kid.

5:30 am: I am drooling on the couch with my kid as she bounces happily to Elmo. With her juice.

It's an ear infection.

How'd your day start off?

Week 3 Update

Week 3:

1. Graduate - Started school, met with advisor, filled out degree paperwork. Eek!

2. Church - 2-1; I napped through last week. :(

3. New job - Emailed mentor about some stuff to build my resume. Vague, I know. AND I think I found a job to apply for!

4. Feel better - Not going well. At all. I did Day 3 last week but the dog and kid went spastic on me (you'd think I'd learn) and I had to cut it short. So I was going to do Day 3 again. But then we got another dog. And then it rained. And then classes started. Do you need more excuses? I'm hoping to get Day 3 on the books over the weekend.

5. Me time - Not a whole lot of this either.

Still Alive

Hola. Still alive here. This is my last semester of grad school (PRAISE JESUS) so we've been running around like headless chickens.

That's a really dumb analogy. OBVIOUSLY headless chickens can't run anywhere.

Anyway.

So I had my last first day this week and got all freaked out and met with advisors (see: resolutions) and stalked our department head BECAUSE IT'S 2012 AND OHMYGOD JUST ANSWER MY EMAIL. And did I mention that my professor looks like Mister Ed?

Let's see, what else...

I wanted to make a king cake this week as it's been on my foodie bucket list for a while. AND I have two other recipes I want to share on here. Both delicious. Maybe I'll make the king cake over the weekend. EXCEPT I was thinking of going visit my grandparents on Sunday and if I do that, I'll go get a king cake from the best bakery EVAH and sweet Jesus, I do not need 2 king cakes in my house in one week. So we'll see. King cake might need to wait till February.

AND THEN next weekend is my bff's (ok, not really) baby shower so I need to pick up her gift and make cookies and a dip and decorate cookies.

And I think The Book Thief expired from the library on my Nook which makes me VERY sad. Does anyone have a copy I can borrow? Pwease?

This post is about as scattered as I am. Welcome to my world, people.

Craziness

Holy mother of God, this was a crazy week. My boss was out of town and while that would normally mean a more relaxed office day, it most definitely does not. Craziness at work.

Wednesday night I was perusing Petfinder for a pup, as I've been doing for easily, a year and a half. And this one pup just jumped out at me. I know this is super cheesy but I swear, it's like she spoke to me from the virtual world. I could not stop thinking about her and woke my husband up at 6am to inform him I was calling about the dog. He grunted and I was happy.

THEN the girl threw up twice, one of those times being at school so we came home and I started cleaning. And then my phone rang and before I knew it, I was driving over an hour to meet, oh who am I kidding, to pick up our new doggie. It was love at first site. Well, for us at least. She was terrified (rightfully so as she was rescued from a terrible situation) and kind of freaked whenever we put her in the car.

But fast forward 48 hours and she has a new name (Georgia!) and a new bed and a new home. And as I glance at her snoozing away in front of the fireplace (it's like Norman Rockwell up in this joint), my heart is happy and I know we made the right doggie decision.

The girl is also feeling better. In case you were wondering. And she loves the new "puppy!"

Week 2 Update

Oh my, not such a good week for resolutions in this house. Twas a crazy one.

Week 2:

1. Graduate - Nothing. School starts Tuesday though so that should kick me in gear.

2. Church - 2-0; go me!

3. New job - Nada.

4. No more of these updates.

5. Feel better - I'm up to Day 3 of the 5k app but I have to do it over again b/c I only got to 20 minutes due to a crying baby and spastic dog. I will eventually learn to go without those two.

6. Me time - I baked chocolate chip cookies (my baby's favorite!) and am still technically reading The Book Thief however I have a feeling it expired from my Nook this past Friday. :(

Hopefully I'll do better this week!

True Colors by Kristin Hannah

Since this is a blog of all trades and I love to read, I am doing my version of book reviews. If I can impart my love o' reading onto someone, I can consider my work here done.

This is my second Kristin Hannah book. The first one I read was Firefly Lane and if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. I do not recommend reading it in public since by the end, I was crying the ugly cry and waking MrShoe up with my sobbing hysterics. It possibly doesn't help that I was 4 months pregnant at the time. Regardless, it is an amazing book and I absolutely loved it.

Anyway.

So I downloaded True Colors to my nook on a whim the week before Christmas and finally got around to reading it a week later.  It's a story about three sisters in a small town in Washington state. The book spans across twenty years or so and mostly follows two of the three sisters and their love lives and careers (which often overlap). A murder in the small town tears the family in two and it takes a very unlikely character to try and bring them back together again. I don't want to post anything spoilerish so I'll stop there.

I closely identified with the oldest sister in this book, Winona. Like so closely, that I had to set the book down in amazement at times. She is definitely the problem solver in the family; very head strong and always right (hi.). However, this does backfire on her in many ways and comes close to tearing her family apart. The father is also a force to be reckoned with and in many ways, reminds me of my own dad.

Overall, the book was great and I do recommend it if you are looking for something not too heavy but semi-serious. A couple times I was a bit exasperated at how she carried out the story line to areas that I thought maybe shouldn't have been dwelled on so much but I did like the ending and it was good enough to keep me up until 2am. Not quite as good as Firefly Lane but another great read by Kristin Hannah for sure.

I still bleed purple & gold

I'm sure most of you watched last nights debauchery of a football game between Bama and LSU, my alma mater (geaux tigers). If not, shame on you because college football is awesome.

Obviously I'm not happy with the outcome. They played like crap, the coaching was crap...there was a lot of crap on that field. What was not crappy was the way Bama played. They played their hears out and deserve every ounce of the championship. Congrats to them and I mean that very sincerely. I loved Nick Saban when he was here (as did every tiger fan) and even though he totes screwed us over for another SEC team, there's no point in denying that he's an amazing coach. So congrats to him as well.

Here's the point of this post. I do not get some of the reactions that I'm seeing to this loss. My POV:

1. Fire Les Miles - really? Fire him? Yes, this was an important game, possibly the most important of his career at LSU (sidenote: is it just me or is that said about every flipping game?). But fire him? We had an amazing season! We went 13-1, are SEC West champions, and the overall champions of the SEC! I have loved Les Miles since the day he came to this city. He had the biggest shoes to fill and baby, he has filled them to the brim. People who jump on the "fire Les Miles" bandwagon should probably go play in traffic.

2. Fair weathered fans - yes, they exist, I'm not denying that. But holy shit, LSU fans are anything but fair weathered. They might be pissed for the next few months (yes, months. we hold a grudge.) but they still love their tigers no matter what the outcome. That being said, if an LSU fan last night congratulated Bama on their win or even said ::gasp:: Roll Tide, how is that being fair weathered? Perhaps they were just recognizing that Bama brought their A-game and we most definitely did not. Or perhaps LSU fans aren't nearly as obnoxious as we are labeled? Don't you think that's a pretty good show of sportsmanship to be able to congratulate your rival team for whipping your ass in the National Championship game, in your backyard? Bottom line: being a good sport = / = fair weathered fan.

3. Rematch - I swear I rolled my eyes so hard when I saw this, I think I pulled a muscle. Someone on my Facebook feed had a status that read something like this, "So when's the real championship game?! We're 1-1! Rematch!" Or something like that. Holy shit, let it go. We came, we fought, we lost. Done. They are the champions, we are not. It sucks and I hate it but a rematch, seriously? That makes us look like those fucking whiners over at USC (I hate USC.). Does anyone else recall the 2003 National Championship when we beat Oklahoma and USC was whining and so there was a split championship? Yeah, that was bullshit.

4. The BCS sucks - I actually agree with this one. The whole no playoff system is screwed up every single year. Seriously. EVERY year there is controversy. Supposedly they are "revamping" it this year but I think they say that every year. That being said, I am not about to say that Bama didn't deserve to be in that game last night. Now, had you asked me that question at 6:59pm, I would have said no way. They didn't win their conference. We beat them once. Boom. But then they played. And they handed our asses to us. And basically proved that they absolutely deserved to be in that game. So I realize this last POV is a totally contradictory but whatev.

So that's it. I've said my piece. Huge, huge congrats to Bama on their win. We'll see you next year in Death Valley.

No matter the outcome of any game, I love LSU and my tigers fiercely. Being an alumni of such an amazing university is about so much more than any football game.

GEAUX TIGERS!

Week 1 update

I need to hold myself accountable for my Shit I'd Like to Happen in 2012. Let's review week 1:

1. Graduate - nothing really. Registration for the semester is taken care of. Otherwise, I'm still on break.

2. Church - 2-0 on this one!

3. New job - paid my registration for a meeting at the end of the month (it's with my professional organization and has a lot of networking opportunities).

4. Get pregnant - bought prenatal vitamins*

5. Feel better - downloaded couch to 5k app and walked with the girl in her stroller (and the spastic dog). Did not eat ice cream on Sat night. That's rare.

6. Me time - started another book (The Book Thief) and baked cookies for my friend's son's birthday party (they are sofaking cute) and baked an apple pie FROM SCRATCH (snap, snap, what?!)

I probably should have posted this on Friday. Oh well.

*I am not fucking pregnant yet. Jesus.

My dog and baby are trying to kill me.

No really. They are.

I wasn't going to talk about this until I was at least a week in but this shit is too good not to share immediately.

In an effort to fulfill my "feeling better" goal for 2012, I downloaded the Couch 2 5k app, strapped on my sneakers, busted out the jogging stroller, and put the harness on the dog.

My first mistake was putting the harness on the dog before I was 110% ready to go. When she sees that thing, hol-ee shit. She flips out. In a good way. It's like

"OHEMGEEWEAREGOINGFORAWALKI'MSOEXCITEDLETMERUNAROUNDTHISPOLE"

It's insane. So I had to unwrap her from the pole like 5 times before we even got to the jogging stroller. It took forever to get everyone situated. So I have my water, my kid has a hat on, she has Kitty Cat in tow (Kitty Cat comes everywhere with us), the app is ready to go...we are golden.

Exhibit A: Kitty Cat

The first five minutes are a "brisk walk" so I was doing pretty good. I'm pretty sure I looked something like this:

Except then my dog went all spastic on me and began jumping into the Christmas trees that my neighbors had placed at the road for the garbage trucks. Literally jumping into them. I could have killed her. I kept having to pause the app, get her untangled, wash, rinse, repeat.

But that is nothing compared to what an ass I made of myself. Somewhere around block two, she calmed the eff down and began jogging with me. All was good with the world. Then all hell broke loose.

I rounded the corner to see my neighbor standing in his driveway in pajama pants and no shirt. And he resembles my father-in-law. Vom. It. Oh and his huge yellow lab. Who is not on a leash.

So I'm jogging and this car pulls up beside me and this awesome guy is holding up Kitty Cat (that my child had hurled from the stroller at some point) and asking me if it's ours. And I'm like "OMG, thank God you picked it up! Thank you so much! You are my hero!" and I start walking to the car to grab the fucking cat.

Except I forget my headphones are in my ears. And my phone is sitting in the cup holder of the stroller.

Yeah. That happened.

So I grab the cat and turn around just in time to see the stroller fucking going down the street and into the driveway of the shirtless neighbor and the leashless dog. So I freak and lunge for the stroller.

The leashless dog chooses this exact moment to flip his shit and come barreling towards us. I couldn't even react, that's how quick it happened. Thankfully the dog meant no harm and just wanted to lick my little mutt which of course pissed her off and she started barking and I'm like, holy shit, I am NEVER running again.

So that was Day 1. I can't wait to see what Day 2 holds.

Dorito Casserole is nasty

No really. Doesn't that sound disgusting?

There's this little site you may have heard of called Pinterest and it's like the mother load for recipes and crafts and gobs of other crap to waste your time with. And every so often it's useful. Like when I used this trick to make pasta shells (worked great):

Or when I handed this picture to the mister and requested one for the girl. Which he made and it is awesome.

But then they have stuff like Dorito Casserole which basically looks like vomit in a dish.

Or Mountain Dew cupcakes which seriously looks like green poo.

Or crafts to do with a toilet paper roll. Because OBVIOUSLY we all have toilet paper rolls just sitting around, waiting to be crafted up. I know I'm just dying for a toilet paper roll wreath!

OMG, or that pizza dip thing? Jesus, that looks disgusting.

Another one that annoys the ever living shit out of me is the ones that say something along the lines of "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". Really, bitch? Have you ever had a slamming dish of shrimp fettuccine? Obviously not.

Turkey Salad Sandwiches

Sometimes I come up with delicious ideas. This is not one of those times. Yes, this is delicious but I cannot take credit for this. My BFF came up with this and although it's ridiculously easy, I'll totes give her credit for it.

Here's what you need:

Leftover turkey, cubed (I like a mix of dark & white)
Nuts (I used pecans but walnuts are good too)
Grapes (I used purple)
Celery
Mayo

Chop your nuts (about a cup), halve your grapes (another cup), chop your celery (I used one stalk). Throw in a bowl with your turkey. Fold in some mayo. Eat.

It's that easy, people. And it's flipping delicious.

I love it because it's totally customizable. I am not a huge fan of celery but like the little bit of flavor and crunch it adds so I only use one stalk (and that might have been too much). But I love the sweetness of the grapes so I definitely put more than most people would. It's better cold and it's even better if you wrap it in a lettuce leaf. Or between two slices of white bread (toasted if you'd like), also spread with mayo (I fucking love mayo) and a lettuce leaf. Nom nom nom...

You could definitely use chicken in place of the turkey or cranberries in place of the grapes or raisins if that's your thing (it's definitely not my thing) or Miracle Whip (also not my thing; vomit) or whatever the hell else you want.

Make it, eat it, love it.

Bedtime

It should probably be my New Year's resolution to go to bed earlier except every time I go to bed at a decent hour, MrShoe convinces me to watch something with him (last night it was Dexter) and then he ends up falling asleep halfway through but by that time, I want to see the ending.

It's very frustrating.

So last night I watched an extra episode without him. He was not happy with me this morning.

I wasn't done

Or shit numero uno that pisses me off.

I really, really love my inlaws (that's not sarcasm, I really do) but one thing (ok, many things) drives me nuts when we go to their house. They are insanely neat and organized and holy wow, my toddler does not do well in that environment but they love her a lot so it's all good. But I digress.

Sometimes I want a sandwich at 3 in the afternoon.  This is what I do at home:

1. Take out sandwich stuff.
2. Make sandwich.
3. Leave sandwich stuff on the counter while I eat my sandwich.
4. Decide if I am done or if I want another sandwich.
5. Put stuff up if I am done or make another one and then start step 3 over again.

The point is, I am weird and don't like to put my food stuff up until I am 100% done. The only exception to this is milk.

At my inlaws, this does not fly. It's like they have a sixth sense whenever something in their house is out of place. I have actually been in the process of making the sandwich and had one of them putting things up as I was still sandwich making. I mean, what if I wasn't done with the damn mayo! I happen to really love mayo!

So at my inlaws, I make my sandwich as fast as possible and then put everything away and then decide if I want another sandwich and if I do, I am usually far too lazy to pull everything out again so I just stay hungry. (Oh, the irony of this.)

So what's the point of this story?

Tonight I fixed a snack (in my own home, thankyouverymuch). MrShoe came two steps behind me and put it up. I went back for round two and my food was GONE. Bastard. So I just busted into his office like a crazy person yelling about how at my damn house, the food stays out until I am done because at the inlaws house, I have to rush and dammit, I do not like to be rushed when eating!

And he looked at me like I was nuts and told me, fine, he would no longer put things away. And then my head exploded.

He's so sleeping on the fucking couch.